Brotherly Love And Peace On the Peninsula

A peace activist writing in a Catholic Times' column on Korean unification and reconciliation introduces the readers to a folktale all Koreans know. It's the story of two brothers: Nolbu and Heungbu. Their father left the family inheritance to both equally but the older brother kept it all and threw out his brother. The brother did not complain and accepted his life of poverty.

One day Heungbu saw a swallow on the ground with a broken leg and treated the bird so it could fly. The following spring the swallow returned with a seed. He planted the seed in the yard it became a big gourd. When he cut open the gourd all kinds of good things came out: gold and gems. He sold them and became wealthy.

This news reached his brother Nolbu who asked his brother how he became so wealthy so quickly. The brother explained what happened with the swallow. Nolbu went home and broke the leg of a swallow and waited until the following spring. He also was given a seed which he planted but this time all kinds of bad things came out and he lost all that he possessed.

The younger brother helped his older brother without his knowledge. In conclusion the older brother apologized for his greed and the younger brother shared his wealth with the brother and they lived happily ever after.

Do we have this type of opposites in real life resolving in this way? We don't find persons who are all good or all bad. Usually we cast our light on what we want to see and ignore what we don't want to see. We can bring to the fore the good or the bad.

Behind any conflict or fight there is another side that's developed over many years in the way participants grew up and were raised. What is the secret for a resolution? Is it to continue maintaining one's viewpoint or to consider the other viewpoint if one wants to see some resolution?

Brothers quarrel and go to their rooms and lock the door is this not what we experience in our world? Mother is in the kitchen preparing a delicious meal but anger blocks them from the enjoyment to their great loss.

Rather than have a third party do the knocking on the door when it is one of the brothers, elder or younger and they have a desire for understanding,   the opening of the heart, the knocking on the door is not a problem. This has a greater possibility of resolution than having a third party doing the knocking, where defensiveness and revenge often appear.

We are all weak deficient human beings. However, despite this we we make the effort with the strength and freedom we have and if we don't have the  strength we know it will be given to us and quietly go to the door and knock. "Let's resolve our problem",  these words gives us a hope for change.

Not Only Detoxification But Health

An arrow shot from a bow is meant to reach the target. What is the target for the treatment of alcohol addiction? The answer to this question is not as easy as one would think and the writer in an article in the Catholic Times explains why.
 
Probably most would answer that treatment for alcoholism is to stop drinking. However, those working with the addicted quickly find out that the patient is faced with many problems attributed to withdrawal. These symptoms are serious: anxiety, insomnia, irritability, and anger difficult to control. Pleasure and temporary relief of stress that alcohol supplied are followed by depression and helplessness.
 
Craving for alcohol, the mentality of the person is affected, he has a 'dry drunk', behaving like a drunk person, the mental faculties and emotions are distorted not able to satisfy the addiction. In the treatment process dealing with this pain, all disappears by giving in to the temptation and drinking.
 
Around half, according to statistics, after treatment return within a month, two-thirds go back to drink within a year. Recovery is not easy. After relapse, the situation is more serious, small and big conflicts, diseases and attempted suicides. The pain is real and the temptation to succumb is strong and not just an excuse on the part of the addicted one.
 
The brain which has enjoyed drinking regularly when the drinking stops the brain goes into an emergency state. The brain to overcome this abnormal state will take all the means available; we have distorted thinking and emotions, destroying any kind of spirituality.
 
Those who stay away from alcohol for at least two years over 80 % continue. After one or two years most of the brain's functions return and the way the person faces life changes.
 
He tells his readers about a man in his 80s who was addicted but went to see his doctor weekly and joined a group of alcoholics meeting regularly. The writer asked him why did he want to change at his age.
 
" I have been drinking for over 60 years. I worked hard and quite suddenly I felt an emptiness in life, I had nothing. I worked, made money and spent a lot of my time drinking with friends, I had little time to speak with my family. I didn't want my family to remember me only as a drunk who lived a worthless life.I stopped drinking, learned to play an instrument, started exercising, reading and returned to my religion. Most important I have been spending time with my family in conversation. They liked what they saw and praised and respect me for what I have done. I have begun living a meaningful life even if it's almost over."
 
A medical practitioner wishes the patient to enjoy healthy pleasures instead of those that come from using addictive substances. They desire patients to seek full communication with others instead of anger, have hope instead of being controlled by instinctive desires and live a dignified life as a human being. This is the ultimate goal for addicts to reach and not simple detoxification.

Surprising Oneself With the Possible

Writing in a diocesan bulletin a layman gives the readers an insight into his experience of doing something he never imagined possible and the results. He never paid much attention to what was happening within his church community. What happened outside his little world was of little concern and the choir of his parish was outside of his world. Musical knowledge was scant, a weak voice and no interest, but this past summer he became a member of the church choir.

The choir leader asked him to become a member. They were preparing for a public performance and seeing their zeal he joined with the proviso it would be for three months. He could barely read the score and didn't think he would be any help but an obstacle.  Only one of the songs that he would be practicing was in anyway familiar and he was given the tenor part.

At the first practice and for the following two weeks he didn't even once look at the score. Since he promised, he attended all the practices but continued wondering whether giving up wasn't the best course of action. However, as he continued strangely the tunes  of the music stayed  with him and he was humming the music. The devotion of the music director and president  impressed him greatly. He gave full attention to the choir and practice.

A big change came over him. He began practicing the score, doing what the director suggested at the last practice and practicing in his home, confidence came. The score stayed with him even after practice, and he  looked forward to the next practice.

They say that applause makes  elephants dance and so also the public performance made the choir dance. Everything went well and was appreciated by all. Able to be a help to the choir gave him a feeling of satisfaction.

The writer began to wonder about his judgments that he has made in life. He thought that he knew himself but  recognized that many of the choices he has made were not wise decisions. After the  choir experience  he realized that he had limited his area of activity with out reason by his preconceived wrong judgements and prejudices.

He doesn't know what the future holds in store but the areas in which he has little confidence will no longer be off limit. He will not avoid them as in the past.  He now looks forward to developing his potentials which have been hidden; he wants to regain control of himself and not be controlled by his self imposed unreasonable limitation. The summer experience with the choir made him see life in a different way.

Bigger Churches and More Christians

In the last half of the 20th century, industrialization and democratization of Korea brought about a great increase of the number of Catholics. From 3% of the population to over 10% growth  needing the building of new churches and 5 new seminaries. It was a growth  rarely seen in the church and a reason for pride.

A priest writing for other priests in a pastoral bulletin asks his readers: Do we have a better way of life from the increase of the number of crosses on church buildings and the number of Christians in Korea? Are we happier society for the increase? You ask 10 people and you get the same answer: No, is the very natural response  to the question: no ifs, ands and buts.

Jesus' came into the world  to reform it.   He gave his life for the cause and we his followers are given the same mission of making this world one according to his will. Why then since we have an increase of twice to three times what it was,  we so called Christians have not made any difference in the world we see? We perceive no sign of change. Rather with the passage of time why do we feel more anxious, tired and  unhappy? Let us suppose that  the majority of the population  joined us would there be change? Seeing the results of the increase we have experienced our answer  wouldn't be yes.  Why?

The writer feels we have forgotten the responsibility we have as Christians. Often is heard the structures of the church are vertical, clericalism is rampant. Few are the members of the clergy who have reflected long and deep on the situation and are  concerned with the situation. Tearing down buildings, extending present buildings and building new buildings is what is important. The building of churches and the increase of believers has little to do with the evangilization of the world.

We do not want to misunderstand what the work of the community of faith is. Church is here to work for the establishment of  God's kingdom. The Church is not the kingdom but a means to bring the kingdom here to the world. When we are only interested in extending the church and fail to spread the message of the Gospel and absorbed in security and our own growth we become a business enterprise.

He concludes the article by reminding the readers that when we only think of building up the church making it larger and forget the mission of the church we forget the shabby looking  Jesus who stood before the sign of  authority and power of Pilate. 

Crisis Within The Church, Violence Our Self Portrait

In the present community of faith, we see two extreme ways the church is seen. They both see a crisis and are concerned. A priest writer in a Bulletin for priests begins his article with these words.
 
A so-called conservative school sees the situation with a martyr's attitude: they face a stark reality and proceed to analyze  the situation. After the Second Vatican Council, the church was contaminated with disbelief, worldliness, and liberalism. It's their task to return to the time before the Council as a loyal remnant in the church.
 
The other school predicts that if we continue in our present ways the church will decline and cease to exist. What is necessary is for the true Christian to throw off the aging and frustrating system the Church is trapped in and modernize, become efficient and get the applause of society.

In these two extremes, there is a common element in that both of them see the other as the cause of the problems the church faces. The two camps with their strong fortress mentality both predicting the downfall of the church have in their logic no place for love but only condemnation, no concern for the other but judgment. Within these two camps, we have a narrowness of thinking, self-inflicted pain and attitudes that give birth to despair and the soil for violence.
 
This attitude does recognize that the church is made up of human beings and is limited in what it's able to do. Both these camps are violent in their activities towards the good people who believe that the Church from the time of the Apostles is being led by God and his Spirit.
 
Sarcasm is adrift in the Church and our self-portrait. This attitude hurts us and defeats without finding hope in our Lord. Medard Kehl SJ, a German theologian, has thought deeply about the challenges that face the church in the modern world and fights against them in his book: Where is the Church Going?  He asks those with closed minds and self-inflicted pessimism with the following proposal. " To grow in hope is not to strive only for results by all means and give people all that they desire. What we are about is  to be faithful in living our faith without vacillation of any kind."  In other words: faith for a Christian is doing what we are asked as natural and wholeheartedly, without looking around to others and wanting to hear applause. This will make us free and relieve us of many burdens. We are not always looking for immediate results from our efforts but at the same don't surrender. Efficiency is not our most important value.
 
In a changing world, negative conclusions about the situation faced by the church or obsession with survival follow from a lack of faith and deep reflection on the meaning of church. With the deep reflection, we begin to understand our being internally, externally and the truth. We come to a deeper understanding of the reality we are experiencing and a deeper level of hope.
 
In Korea, the candlelight processions did bring about visibly the desire of many of the citizens for a new start. At this point in history with all the conflict within and outside the community of faith, we need to reflect more deeply on the reason for the existence of the Church, the world, humanity and the light will come.

Church Needs to Challenge The Culture

Human consciousness depends on education, tradition, culture and belief system but it is not fixed, changes take place, we have growth and integration. A seminary professor begins his article in View from the Ark with these words on the Church's place in society.
 
Change produces resistance. A human being is biologically programmed to avoid pain and rest comfortably. Emotional stability is necessary to resolve both physical and inner conflicts to adapt to changes in an environment. If these changes match the views of the individual, pain is accepted, if not persons are disturbed, and problems with depression and suicides often follow.

The church is no exception. Looking at the 2000 year history of the church it has been on a journey of cultural adaptation and indigenization. In the spirit and culture of the times, it tries to understand its beliefs and make known what it has received and finds its identity.
 
After the Resurrection of Jesus, the early church was waiting for the return of Jesus and the end, testifying to their faith by martyrdom. After becoming the State Church of Rome with its freedom and power it began to preach the Gospel to the pagans and with its power build the earthly kingdom. People were subdued in the name of Jesus with violence and wrong judgments made.
 
However, the Church has undergone many changes, renewed and reformed. According to the promise of Jesus, the Church has been guided by the Holy Spirit to defeat the power of evil and proclaim the Gospel throughout the world. The Catholic Church dressed in the robes of Western civilization settled in Korea but was resented by the nation. It gave the hope of the Resurrection to the people. Believers found a new family in the church and shared hope and comfort and often witnessed to hope by a martyr's death.
 
There is a saying that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, At first we think that the sum of the parts make up the whole but when the individuals are gathered and form a community they are affected by the surrounding environment that influences the community in ways that were not present in the beginning. This is called the 'emergent property' principle also experienced by the Church. The gift of the Spirit that each individual receives is small but the spirit in the community would be greater than that of the individuals. Under the guidance of the Holy Spirit the level of guidance we believe is at a higher level than the social organizations of society.   

Often the mass media, the spirit of the age, the bias in society gives the citizens false and distorted values and brings harm into society. In the Church, however, believers receive the fellowship of other believers through the teaching of the faith and when the community becomes one they help defend the church and grow beyond their personal gifts and to the universal good.
 
Many criticize the church for not being any different from any other organizations in society and rightly so for the church is meant to be different. Gerhard Lohfink a German theologian makes clear that what is needed today is a church that is a contrast to the society we have. We are not a church to be successful in the ways of the world using the ways of the world with authoritarian power but with the teachings of Jesus. The moment authority becomes power we are no different than the world. If we lose the cross we lose everything. Is this not the lesson we  learned from history?

Young Christian Workers

Many years ago, a priest writing for a clerical bulletin, recalls a trip he made for a wedding Mass. He hailed a taxi whose driver seeing the clerical garb greeted him warmly telling him he also was Catholic and recounted his change of heart in recent years.
 
He was baptized as a child but did not take it too seriously. Recently, however, it all changed and he found great joy and meaning in everything he did as a member of the JOC.

(Young Christian Workers, Jeunesse Ouvriere Chretienne in French) is a movement for young workers that began in France. The taxi driver was a member of this movement and his taxi became his altar where he offered up his daily work, greeting all graciously and supporting his family. He was living the lay apostolate as a taxi driver.
 
He mentions a women member of the JOC who left her office job to work in a factory. Pay was poor, the work difficult but she felt on a mission. She had more persons to show her love and concern. At Mass, she would associate with those who were in their work clothes and did much to increase the numbers in the JOC movement and give meaning to the life many were living. 

JOC was very active in most of the countries of the world but that is no longer the case. Society has changed and so has the membership in the movement. In Korea, it was very active but now there are just about 10 groups that are still meeting.
 
Young people are at the learning stage so we may ask how can they participate in the apostolate of the Church. Young peoples' world is different from that of the adults. They study, play and work together. A difficult place for adults to enter. Only the young can enter and influence the direction of life.The group meetings are not education from above with cramming but young people sharing with other young people about their lives.

Many of those who in adult age continue to work in the lay apostolate of the church have their beginnings in the JOC. They were formed in way that gave them confidence and a joy that comes with concern for others in making a better world,
 
In recent statistics that the priest has seen show that 50% percent of those asked feel that religion is not necessary for society. With the passage of time the numbers who have a negative feeling towards religion continue to rise, Many are the reasons for this but the bad example given by religious people is great.
 
More than one non-believing philosopher has mentioned that Christians work to increase their numbers but more than efforts to evangelize, living what they preached would be the best method of evangelization.

Korean Catholic Church's Present Address

Religious men and women leaders conducted a  seminar commemorating the 500th anniversary of the Reformation held on Oct. 31, the day Martin Luther attached his grievances on the church door.
 
The Catholic Times in an editorial and article reported on the seminar's theme: "Where are you?" (Gen. 3.9). Agreed was the need to examine the years since the Reformation and determine what we have learned about communication and the way we come to decisions.
 
Briefly, the outline of the discussion was about the communication structures in the church. God's people can go to the Lord without getting lost when we have the proper communication structures within the church.

Five hundred years later what we can learn from the Reformation is that the Church's journey to the Kingdom of God, the community of faith, can not neglect for a moment the continual work of reflection and renewal. History shows us how we have been made God's community and we continue on this journey when we constantly renew ourselves, in line with the words of Jesus: Stay awake.
 
Difficult to see the Christian community today making efforts for reflection and renewal. We seem to pay more attention to external matters: number of believers, church buildings, money offerings, events and the like.  We are lost in external matters and forget what is important. We repeat the history of division brought about by the lack of communication that was present in the past and continues in the present. We don't know how to go about renewing ourselves.

We Christians, the children of God, have a duty to be awake,  pray and witness to the life of the Gospel, together. The influence of the world can easily shake the faith of the community and bring confusion and difficulty. That is why we have to be awake, examine and reflect on the calling we have received.

Clergy, religious and laity are all members of the Church and we need structures that allow an easy access to meeting and discussing the mission we have all received. Not only meeting to consult but also participate in the decision making.

Family Conversation

Kyeongyang magazine has an article on the keys for family dialogue by a layperson involved in diocesan pastoral work.  He has worked on programs for families for many years but reminds the readers that monks can't cut their own hair. Looking over his own conduct in the family many are his faults as a father and husband. During a family fight his wife often lets him hear:"A developer of family programs is that all that I can expect from you?"
 
Knowing the way and walking the way are two different realities. However, knowing what to do makes the doing a lot easier. Working on family relationships a question he often receives: What is the secret in family dialogue? He has listed them for the readers; gathered from his experience even though he's still a learner.
 
1) Talking begins with the eyes and not the mouth.

2) Speak with warmth in the voice. When the words expressed are kind, the ones returned will be warm and kind. When the words heard are not, responding  with warmth and kindness that is love.
 
3) Keep the words you speak and the ones you hear at a ratio of 50 to 50. Like in Ping Pong give and take should be the same. Monopolizing the conversation is bad but so is not speaking. In the family, others know what is in the heart in the degree it's made known. 

4) The reason for dialogue is to understand and to sympathize with what is spoken. We express our love with our words. Speaking is not to make everything come out the way the speaker wants.
 
5) Putting oneself in the other person's shoes.  But no matter how much we try we will never understand the other completely. Like the words of the  song: "I don't know even myself how can I know you."
 
6) Speak from the heart. Speak frankly, plainly,  gently and with few words. More important than speaking frankly and plainly is to speak gently. More than the truth spoken is the respect one has for the person speaking.
 
7) Don't compare to others. For Catholics to compare with Jesus and the Blessed Mother is an attack on the family. Speak only what is seen without comparisons.
 
8) Better to speak about what is desired than what is not: positive instead of negative.
 
9) Speaking with a smile.
 
10) Listen to all that the family member wants to say and not prevent them from speaking fully.
 
11)  Physical  contact with the person your speaking  is a help in being understood.
 
12) Honest agreement shown in response to what you hear that comes from the heart.
 
13)  Better than asking questions with a yes or no answer, ask open questions: What do you think about this etc.? 

14) When speaking agitated that is the end of dialogue.
 
15) Speak about dreams of the family members.
 
He concludes the article by reminding the readers this is for those reading the article. Expecting this to be the response of the family members, better to forget all that was said.

We Are Not Meant To Live Alone

A religious sister working in a diocesan pastoral  center for the prevention of suicides writes in the View from the Ark of the Catholic Times that we need others to live a full life. She mentions last month in a city of Korea a man 47 years old with a chronic kidney problem was found dead in his house and the police say he had been dead for a week and are still investigating.
 
In the same city on the same day in another house, an 81-year-old man, dead for a week, was found.  Five years before he was operated on and never really recovered. He lived alone and the police are investigating the reason for death and talking to the acquaintances of the bereaved.
 
This is not a rare occurrence. According to government statistics in 2011, 639 died alone, without any known relatives. In 2016, 1032 died alone, twice the previous figure. Loneliness and dying alone was seen as a problem of the poor, sick and old persons,  but that is no longer the case. Nowadays, the divorced, unemployed, and those facing financial ruin are found dying alone.
 
Last year in Seoul 162 died alone and 137 of them were men and 36% of them were in their 50s. The social network has broken down. Farming areas of the country still have a place for the aged and the welfare of the old is still a big concern. However, when the young or middle-aged are unemployed,  living alone, poor and where contact with others is limited, we have the dying alone situation occurring.
 
The situation is not limited only to those living alone. According to the OECD (Better Life Index), Koreans in comparison to other countries in the support they have in community is the next to last of the 38 countries in the OECD. To the question: When in difficulty do you have persons to go to? 75.8 % percent answered Yes. The average for the OECD was 88%. Two years early in Korea, it was 77% who answered yes.

One in four respondents said they had no one to ask for help and are not receiving any social or psychological support.
 
Many who feel the crisis of life and think about suicide do not want to burden their families with their pain and suffering.One can sympathize with their feelings but often their choice gives the family more pain.
 
Pope Francis in his visit to Korea in 2014 said in a meeting of religious leaders: "Life is a road we can't walk alone. We need each other we need to live in relationships with others." 

She closes with the hope that even though we are a burden to others, in need of help, we should ask for help. Our society benefits and coldness and loneliness will be greatly diminished.

Art of Dying: Art of LIving

According to the Church's liturgical calendar, we are now in the month of the Holy Souls, the last month of the liturgical calendar and late fall. A seminary professor reminisces for the readers in a diocesan bulletin on his visit to the cemetery for Mass and the thoughts that came to him walking as on a picnic viewing the grave sites. He thought of his own death and considered it 'practicing for death'.
 
Many ancient philosophers believed that it was proof of a true philosopher to spend time during life  'practicing for death'. From the time of Socrates and Plato in the Greek era to Marcus Aurelius and Seneca in the Roman era, reflecting on 'Practicing for Death' was the preeminent example of a philosophy of life.
 
For the ancient sages, the meditation on death was the 'ars moriendi' ( the art of dying) which was the way to prepare to live: 'ars vivendi' (art of living). This was the way to put our minds and souls in order to enjoy the gift of life, true happiness and to learn the way of correct living.
 
In the book Phaedo by Plato he talks about the death of his teacher Socrates: true philosophers spend their entire lives preparing for death and dying, so also with Socrates who welcomed death when the time came.
 
It is the practice of meditating on death that one has the correct perception of what life is all about and this was also the teaching of the wise in Christianity. 

Imitation of Christ, a book that was familiar to many from the middle ages to the present has some wise words on death. "Very soon your life here will end; consider, then, what may be in store for you elsewhere. Today we live; tomorrow we die and are quickly forgotten. Oh, the dullness and hardness of a heart which looks only to the present instead of preparing for that which is to come! Therefore, in every deed and every thought, act as though you were to die this very day. If you had a good conscience you would not fear death very much. It is better to avoid sin than to fear death. If you are not prepared today, how will you be prepared tomorrow? Tomorrow is an uncertain day; how do you know you will have a tomorrow?" (1st Book chap. 23) 

Living life sincerely, fully and happily is preparing for death and being thankful for the gift of life. Thankful for what I was able to do and offer up all my failings and with empty hands to trust in the mercy of God with a transparency of soul.

The writer finishes the article with a mention of the Cantata #82  Ich Habe Genug, composed by J.S. Bach for the Feast of the Purification of the Blessed Mother:
 
"It is enough.

I have held the Savior, the hope of all peoples,

In the warm embrace of my arms.

It is enough."

Religion Can't Ignore the Pain of Citizens

On Oct. 26, 1909, at 9:30 am shots rang out at Harbin station in China. Ahn Jung-geun a member of the Korean freedom for peace and the fatherland army in Siberia and Manchuria, assassinated Ito Hirobumi of Japan. An article in the Catholic Times reviews the ways Korea views the history of the Japanese war of aggression in Asia.
 
Japanese occupation of Korea took over half the land away from Koreans occasioning the ruin of Korean farming and causing the exodus of 400,000 Koreans to migrate to Hawaii, Siberia and Manchuria. A Korean historian expressed this as: "when a Japanese house comes, five Korean houses leave." Japan dragged the young people into the war of aggression, into the cold mines and darkness.
 
In the Chinese Nanking Massacre Memorial, they show the killing of one person every 12 seconds in a dripping water exhibit. Young girls were forced into sexual slavery and if they refused would be killed cruelly. From December 13, 1937, the Holocaust killed  300,000 people in six weeks.
 
The Nanking Memorial shows in detail the times of tension and chaos. Of the many 'comfort women' serving the military in the area, 36 were Koreans, forced into sexual slavery. The atrocities of the war of aggression remain in the memory of many Asians. Nanking is called the great massacre and leaves one shuddering thinking about what transpired at that time.
 
Patriot Ahn at the age of thirty was moved by the cruelty shown by Japanese imperialism trampling the peace of the East which he could not ignore. Both as a Korean citizen and as a Christian he couldn't close his eyes to what was happening in Asia. "God, in Christ, redeems not only the individual person but also the social relations existing between men" (Compendium of the Social Gospel #52).
 
While in the Lushun prison after the assassination, he asked the Parish Foreign Missionary priest Fr. Joseph Wilhelm to hear his confession. Bishop Mutel was the eighth bishop of Seoul and refused the request of Ahn considering him a terrorist but Fr. Wilhelm disobeyed and went to the prison and heard Ahn's confession.
 
Japanese authorities refused to return the body to the family and the bishop supported the decision. The change in people's opinion and the way the assassination is viewed now in the church and society is far different from what it was 100 years ago.

Real Friends Are Disappearing

Real friends are beginning to disappear is the topic of an article in the Kyeongyang magazine by a university psychology professor. He begins with the story of a student who was in the States studying for a doctorate at a time when a telephone call to Korea was expensive. Receiving his degree he was fortunate to find a teaching position at a small rural college but the loneliness was overwhelming. He missed Korea, acquaintances, and food. On the spur of the moment, he traveled for about an hour to buy a container of kimchi which he devoured with tears flowing freely.
 
In our present world, this situation may be hard to understand. SNS and the internet allow instant communication and all kinds of friends. The very definition of friend changes. Friends were not easily made; a lot of time was expended and according to the  French: like a good wine the longer the friendship the better. 

Thanks to SNS contacting friends is easy but at the same time making friends is no longer what it was. The ending of friendship is easily done on both ends. To keep the friendships going requires a lot of time the more friends the more time and a feeling the friendships are superficial.
 
Worse, is the time spent with those friends online the less time spent in the real world with those you are relating with offline. In the real world when a topic of discussion ends we have a period of silence until another topic is introduced with the smartphone this dynamic is not so readily experienced.
 
The writer mentions being in a restaurant when a family of three entered. They selected a table and the mother and daughter were busy with their smartphones and the father with his newspaper. Mother and daughter ate with the smartphones in their hands. After finishing the meal the father mentioned it was time to go but the daughter did not hear and continued sending a text message. The only words emitted during the meal was the ordering and the father reminding the family the meal was over. A family meal with the smartphone.
 
This scene is not so infrequent as we would like to believe. Lovers both sitting down at a table with their smartphones in their hands: personal interaction, place of contact in the here and now, has moved to another location.
 
Benefits from the smartphone are many. However, they will never replace the human contact with another person that we all need. Frequently we need to put the smartphone down and look straight into the warm eyes of another. It is there that we will be feeling the warmth of another person's heart and mind.

Wearied by too much Contact

A  college professor in an article in a diocesan bulletin asks the readers if they are familiar with a word that has only one vowel sound different from another word that means tedious, bored and weariness. The word he introduces to the readers is a new word that those in their twenties use meaning tired of relationships made on SNS. (권태기 and 관태기)
 
Relating on the social network the number of friends increase but intimacy is reduced. Of course, there are different symptoms and degrees of response. College students are concerned with many things: studies, working to increase specifications for future work and part-time work. Making friends on SNS is too time consuming.
 
Strange as it may seem many of those using the social network are faced with more anxiety, feel lonely and empty. Facebook or Twitter would impact some one way, Instagram in another way, the feelings are not always positive. Those they meet on the social network continue to increase but the superficiality of the encounter becomes boring, the heart to heart exchange between intimate friends is missing.
 
Humans are social animals is a phrase that begins to have less meaning. More time is spent eating alone, going to the movies alone, traveling alone for it is restful. Society is giving them less joy and a lot of weariness.
 
A flower stays in one place and spreads its roots underground and conveys its beauty but it doesn't do this alone but helped by the wind, rain and the sun's warmth.  

Young people may have been too anxious to relate with as many as possible and temporarily reached a surfeit. All that may be necessary is a rest from the busy world of SNS and a return to the normal world for a time. 

Korea is traditionally a collectivist society but this is changing especially among the young. Korea has one of the fastest growing single person household increases, helping the trend towards individualism. Still far from the west but the young are quickly closing the gap. 

Hidden Violence

Along the road, in the city, various signboards catch the eye. Around schools, it is not rare to see the phrase drug-like rice cakes, drug-like kimchi, drug-like pork. Of course, it is an effort to give the greatest value and to attract to what is being sold. 

Drugs are dangerous substances they destroy bodies and souls. Using the word drug repeatedly connected with food we eat daily desensitizes the young and old alike to the evil of drugs. A college professor in the Catholic Peace Weekly brings the subject of hidden violence in our daily expressions to the attention of the readers.
 
A lawyer on a broadcast news-program criticized politics using the phrase repeatedly: 'putting a knife in a person's back'. What does the phrase mean? Nothing to do with killing the person but to put a person into a corner or make problems for the person. Not something good to imagine. On the SNS to increase the number of clicks strong sexual suggestive descriptions are chosen conveying much with little.
 
A great deal of violence is contained in this language. Frequency of contact with these images makes the reality of the imagined all the more tangible. Familiarity doesn't necessarily make for correct  thinking or choice. If we do not have a critical view of the information we are given we can eventually think and act according to the information received.
 
A male penis appeared in a promotional sculpture made to announce a local government event. Explicit sexual descriptions are often reported in college festival sites. Dramatic expressions increase our emotions and effectively convey meaning in a short period of time. This can lead to a violent response. The virtue of modesty and sublimation in society has long disappeared. When wants and desires pass the level of reason we are approaching violence.
 
What we express with words or pictures is a reflection of our lives. Expressions of violence flow into our culture and daily living. Physical force is not the only way violence appears. We need to remember that symbolic expressions that we use and common ways of acting are often a cause of harm to our bodies and minds. We need time to reflect on what we see and hear, to discern the hidden violence in-bedded in what we are exposed to in the mass media.